Hey, Hotch!
by Hidanluvr
Summary: Morgan can stop Hotch with just a few words.


I do not lay claim to the show Criminal Minds, her cast and crew, or her popularity. I only lay claim to my own imagination.

"Hey Hotch, want to have sex?" Derek inquired loudly, brashly, and bravely in the occupied conference room. Spencer went wide-eyed and kicked him under the table. Aaron's debriefing tapered off, lips forming words without sound as he stopped and turned to regard Derek with a questioning frown.

"Excuse me?" He asked, mission file resting on the edge of the round table absolutely forgotten.

Derek sighed, rolling his eyes as though he were dealing with a errant teenager. "Do. You. Want. To. Have. Sex?"

Aaron quirked a brow as all of his agents stared him down . Just what did they know that he didn't? "Out of our whole team, why ask me?"

Derek leaned back, chair tipping slightly, and grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "Because Spence and I have already had sex with them."

Spencer groaned as Aaron paused again. "Everyone?"

"Everyone." Derek affirmed still grinning.

"Garcia?" Aaron questioned the bubbly tech analyst. She enthusiastically nodded her blond head and smiled.

"You better believe it boss-man. Spencer and Derek showed me an _amazing_ time."

Spencer's head slammed down onto the table with a dull thunk after giving Derek the evil eye. Aaron turned to the next person, "Prentiss?"

She winked at Spencer and Derek in response. Aaron couldn't believe what he was hearing. How had he not known about this? He turned to J.J. "Not you too?"

The slim blond blushed brightly under her Aaron's scrutiny. "Yep, Will and I had quite the learning experience."

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to the final person in the room, "Dave?"

Dave leaned forward in his chair, hands clasped loosely in nonchalance, "Derek and the girls convinced me that I was missing out when it came to Spencer, that I was missing the best sex of my life, and they weren't lying."

"Unbelievable." Aaron huffed, running an exasperated hand through his hair. "How is it that all of my agents were having sex with Reid and Morgan and I didn't know it?"

"I'm actually not sure." Spencer spoke as he sat up, "It was extremely obvious."

"Yeah," Derek continued with a lick of his lips, "so Hotch want to join the club?"

"You really should sir." Penelope piped in as her fingers dashed away on the keyboard of her laptop.

"Spence is fucking good at what he does." Emily stated her mind quickly recalling how good.

"You think he's a genius only with facts? Oh no, he's a genius in all aspects of life, and I mean all." J.J. fired out.

Dave beckoned Aaron down to his level and whispered into his ear.

"No one here is lying. Spencer had me doing things I wasn't aware I could do: screaming, pleading, begging. You think you know excellent sex Aaron? You are sorely mistaken until you've had Spencer sink into you. Then, and only then, will you be able to say you've had excellent sex."

Aaron's only sign of hearing what Dave said was the extreme tingeing of pink in his cheeks. He could not believe Dave said those words to him. He could not believe all of his team members were just sitting there smirking at him, relieving their experiences. How did he miss this?

He backed up and coughed, clearing away his embarrassment.

"The case." Aaron declared firmly and sat down in J.J's seat as she vacated it to turn on her readied slideshow, a seat that just happened to be right against Derek's.

Derek smirked victoriously as Aaron tried to maintain his composure. "Something wrong, Hotch?"

"Not now Derek." Aaron hissed, trying in vain to listen to J.J.'s words.

Derek didn't relent for a moment. He leaned closer to Aaron. "You know you want to come home with us. You know you want to let Spencer fuck you hard."

Aaron twitched as Derek's words and hot breath rasped into his ear.

"If I agree will you stop pestering me?"

Derek smiled widely, "Will you come home with us after this case?"

Aaron burned red, turning to regarding Derek only to find Spencer's gaze on him as well. "Yes."

Derek's smile upped the wattage, "That's all I ask."

He turned to give Spencer a thumbs up as Aaron was finally left in peace, "Guess who we're doing tomorrow, maybe even tonight?"

Spencer sighed, "I know. Anyone would give in to your pestering."

Derek laughed lightly, "Oh you know he wants it."

Spencer sighed again.

He would never understand their relationship.


End file.
